When people ask about my personal history, I often reply that someday they will be able to watch it played out in a Lifetime movie (a limited series, more like it!). I am serious when I say this, too. My life has had more ups and downs and twists and turns than the famed Tail of the Dragon highway. In the meantime, here is a brief synopsis of my pilgrimage from"conservative" preacher to "liberal" college professor. I married shortly after graduating high school and a series of unfortunate events coupled with a conservative upbringing led me to Bible college. Over the next 16 years, as a minister, I welcomed opportunities to promote social justice, to do counseling and mentoring, and to help people in significant times of need. I enjoyed the public speaking, teaching, and writing, All along I was continuing to pursue my education, to discover many more questions than answers, and to grapple with the meaning of life as the father of a child with a serious congenital disease and another diagnosed with cancer, as someone in an increasingly loveless marriage, and as someone baffled by the level of ignorance, hypocrisy, prejudice, and bigotry I experienced in religious circles.
By late 2004, I was at a crossroads. I contemplated leaving ministry, but I was persuaded to give it another try with a church in greener fields outside of the Deep South and beyond the "Bible Belt." So I moved to Hampton Roads, VA. As my COBRA health insurance coverage was about to expire, I enrolled in a full-time Ph.D. program in order to qualify for group health insurance through the university. I also believed that I would eventually need to leave ministry and move back closer to family if my marriage was to survive, and earning a Ph.D. would allow me to make a smooth transition from pastor to professor. Regent University was nearby and offered me a full scholarship with a stipend to enroll in their communication studies program. I was never a fan of Pat Robertson and the 700 Club, which are connected to Regent, but I decided that as long as I was not studying religion or government, it would be all right. I happily discovered that The School of Communication and the Arts had some fine scholars and offered me a quality degree program in communication studies.
As I was poised to begin my final semester of doctoral studies in January 2008, my youngest child was diagnosed with life-threatening bone cancer, and within a few months my marriage was officially and publicly over. People who did not know the history behind all of my marriage problems were not in a position to judge me, but they did. Even if I had been in a place emotionally, philosophically, and theologically to continue in ministry (which I was not), the market for divorced ministers is not good. A job offer from a "Christian university" was also rescinded at that time. As a result, after working for 16 years as a minister, earning two undergraduate and two graduate degrees in religious studies, and publishing two books, I was no longer able to "practice in my field." I was betrayed by those who were supposed to be "spiritual leaders." I was unemployed and a step away from being homeless, but expected to pay alimony and child support based on the respectable salary I had been earning after many years in my profession. Three different divorce attorneys all operating out of the same "faith-based" ethic left me penniless and feeling powerless to influence the best care for my children.
With much support, I managed to preserve some measure of sanity and pressed on to complete my Ph.D. course work by the end of Summer 2008. I passed my comprehensive exams shortly thereafter, launching me into the netherworld of "ABD" land. To make ends meet I liquidated my extensive theological library, sold most of my personal belongings (including my drums!), and worked odd jobs, until I eventually landed a full-time faculty position at Nicholls State University in August 2010. At last, I took out my final school loan to pay for continuing dissertation credits for the Spring 2013 semester. I successfully defended my thesis in March 2013, and my Ph.D. was conferred on May, 4, 2013. Four bright spots during this otherwise gray period in my life were being able to meet and write about some wonderful people and watch my son thrive in the sport of power soccer; my daughter's cancer going into remission after 10 months of intensive treatment and surgeries; meeting my soul mate, Priscilla, and despite the fact that I was not ready to become a grandparent before I even turned 40, the birth of my first grandchild.
My son Ryan passed away in November of 2013 at his home in East Texas. I had picked up his oldest sister and her two small children, who lived in a nearby town, just a few days earlier to come to South Louisiana for Thanksgiving, but unaware that Ryan was in his final days and even receiving hospice care at the time, his sister and I planned to visit him when I would bring her back home on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. She called her mother to confirm our plan to visit Ryan, then Ryan's mother woke me the next day with a phone call to inform me of his death. Not being able to tell my son goodbye has been one of the hardest things I have had to endure.
I loved my students and work at Nicholls State, but years of draconian mid-year budget cuts resulted in no faculty merit or even cost-of-living raises for over a decade, and this, of course, resulted in serious salary inversion and compression and low faculty morale . My salary in 2016 was in effect 31% less than when I started in 2010, which was a very low instructor wage that my hiring manger told me he was "embarrassed" to offer to me. So after six years, I was exhausted from heavy adjunct teaching loads to supplement my income and years of advocacy work as a faculty senator and eventual president, all while finishing my dissertation and trying to publish so as not to perish in my field. In 2016, I decided to accept an offer from The University of the West Indies in Trinidad & Tobago. This was a fun adventure that lasted just shy of three years because we needed to return to the US for family reasons, and I landed at Tennessee State University in Nashville. Among the choices available, this was the one that my daughter, Meleah, picked as the place she would prefer to move to for Priscilla and I to help her raise our two granddaughters and support her to finish school. Tragically, she was re-diagnosed with cancer on September 11, 2019, barely a month after we had moved. It was not a good prognosis and she needed to stay in East Texas to get care at MD Anderson in Houston.
Then COVID hit. I spent the next 2.5 years teaching mostly online, going back and forth to Texas, trying to keep the virus away from Meleah and her household in between her treatments, spending as much time with her and the children as possible, and starting a reclaimed-wood side business called "Made with Love for Meleah." I collected and ripped apart pallets and crates and built flower beds, tables, cabinets, trunks, and even a turtle habitat--all to raise money so Meleah could maybe have a bucket-list trip or buy whatever she wanted. Meleah passed away on November 18, 2021. It was too difficult for me to stay in Nashville after she died. We had no ties to the area and it was for the dream of helping Meleah make a new start that we moved there in the first place. I applied for a few targeted jobs with the intent to transition either into an administrative role in disability services or a disability studies professorship.
After completing a few interviews and having a few more lined up, I received a random email through my contact page on this website. It was a faculty recruiter for a consortium of Caribbean medical schools. I could not have imagined transitioning to such a role, but when we researched about Nevis and how lovely it is and realized this could be an opportunity for our grandchildren to grow up experiencing island life and how happy this would make Meleah, we chose to sell our home in Nashville and move to St. Kitts and Nevis in May 2022.
I now primarily work in an academic support role to counsel medical students on effective wellness habits and study skills. I teach courses and lecture in others on topics related to communication and cultural diversity. I have continued to promote disability justice and to engage in disability studies scholarship. In addition, Priscilla and I started an arts & crafts business called Beach Therapy Crafts & More (https://www.BeachTherapyCrafts.com) in connection with our favorite pastime of beachcombing.
One cannot go through all that I have experienced without either becoming bitter or better. I am trying to embrace the latter. I gave up a long time ago trying to make sense of why things happen. I do not know if everything happens for a reason, but I know you can take whatever does happen and choose to leverage that experience toward the goal of making your life meaningful and purposeful.
By late 2004, I was at a crossroads. I contemplated leaving ministry, but I was persuaded to give it another try with a church in greener fields outside of the Deep South and beyond the "Bible Belt." So I moved to Hampton Roads, VA. As my COBRA health insurance coverage was about to expire, I enrolled in a full-time Ph.D. program in order to qualify for group health insurance through the university. I also believed that I would eventually need to leave ministry and move back closer to family if my marriage was to survive, and earning a Ph.D. would allow me to make a smooth transition from pastor to professor. Regent University was nearby and offered me a full scholarship with a stipend to enroll in their communication studies program. I was never a fan of Pat Robertson and the 700 Club, which are connected to Regent, but I decided that as long as I was not studying religion or government, it would be all right. I happily discovered that The School of Communication and the Arts had some fine scholars and offered me a quality degree program in communication studies.
As I was poised to begin my final semester of doctoral studies in January 2008, my youngest child was diagnosed with life-threatening bone cancer, and within a few months my marriage was officially and publicly over. People who did not know the history behind all of my marriage problems were not in a position to judge me, but they did. Even if I had been in a place emotionally, philosophically, and theologically to continue in ministry (which I was not), the market for divorced ministers is not good. A job offer from a "Christian university" was also rescinded at that time. As a result, after working for 16 years as a minister, earning two undergraduate and two graduate degrees in religious studies, and publishing two books, I was no longer able to "practice in my field." I was betrayed by those who were supposed to be "spiritual leaders." I was unemployed and a step away from being homeless, but expected to pay alimony and child support based on the respectable salary I had been earning after many years in my profession. Three different divorce attorneys all operating out of the same "faith-based" ethic left me penniless and feeling powerless to influence the best care for my children.
With much support, I managed to preserve some measure of sanity and pressed on to complete my Ph.D. course work by the end of Summer 2008. I passed my comprehensive exams shortly thereafter, launching me into the netherworld of "ABD" land. To make ends meet I liquidated my extensive theological library, sold most of my personal belongings (including my drums!), and worked odd jobs, until I eventually landed a full-time faculty position at Nicholls State University in August 2010. At last, I took out my final school loan to pay for continuing dissertation credits for the Spring 2013 semester. I successfully defended my thesis in March 2013, and my Ph.D. was conferred on May, 4, 2013. Four bright spots during this otherwise gray period in my life were being able to meet and write about some wonderful people and watch my son thrive in the sport of power soccer; my daughter's cancer going into remission after 10 months of intensive treatment and surgeries; meeting my soul mate, Priscilla, and despite the fact that I was not ready to become a grandparent before I even turned 40, the birth of my first grandchild.
My son Ryan passed away in November of 2013 at his home in East Texas. I had picked up his oldest sister and her two small children, who lived in a nearby town, just a few days earlier to come to South Louisiana for Thanksgiving, but unaware that Ryan was in his final days and even receiving hospice care at the time, his sister and I planned to visit him when I would bring her back home on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. She called her mother to confirm our plan to visit Ryan, then Ryan's mother woke me the next day with a phone call to inform me of his death. Not being able to tell my son goodbye has been one of the hardest things I have had to endure.
I loved my students and work at Nicholls State, but years of draconian mid-year budget cuts resulted in no faculty merit or even cost-of-living raises for over a decade, and this, of course, resulted in serious salary inversion and compression and low faculty morale . My salary in 2016 was in effect 31% less than when I started in 2010, which was a very low instructor wage that my hiring manger told me he was "embarrassed" to offer to me. So after six years, I was exhausted from heavy adjunct teaching loads to supplement my income and years of advocacy work as a faculty senator and eventual president, all while finishing my dissertation and trying to publish so as not to perish in my field. In 2016, I decided to accept an offer from The University of the West Indies in Trinidad & Tobago. This was a fun adventure that lasted just shy of three years because we needed to return to the US for family reasons, and I landed at Tennessee State University in Nashville. Among the choices available, this was the one that my daughter, Meleah, picked as the place she would prefer to move to for Priscilla and I to help her raise our two granddaughters and support her to finish school. Tragically, she was re-diagnosed with cancer on September 11, 2019, barely a month after we had moved. It was not a good prognosis and she needed to stay in East Texas to get care at MD Anderson in Houston.
Then COVID hit. I spent the next 2.5 years teaching mostly online, going back and forth to Texas, trying to keep the virus away from Meleah and her household in between her treatments, spending as much time with her and the children as possible, and starting a reclaimed-wood side business called "Made with Love for Meleah." I collected and ripped apart pallets and crates and built flower beds, tables, cabinets, trunks, and even a turtle habitat--all to raise money so Meleah could maybe have a bucket-list trip or buy whatever she wanted. Meleah passed away on November 18, 2021. It was too difficult for me to stay in Nashville after she died. We had no ties to the area and it was for the dream of helping Meleah make a new start that we moved there in the first place. I applied for a few targeted jobs with the intent to transition either into an administrative role in disability services or a disability studies professorship.
After completing a few interviews and having a few more lined up, I received a random email through my contact page on this website. It was a faculty recruiter for a consortium of Caribbean medical schools. I could not have imagined transitioning to such a role, but when we researched about Nevis and how lovely it is and realized this could be an opportunity for our grandchildren to grow up experiencing island life and how happy this would make Meleah, we chose to sell our home in Nashville and move to St. Kitts and Nevis in May 2022.
I now primarily work in an academic support role to counsel medical students on effective wellness habits and study skills. I teach courses and lecture in others on topics related to communication and cultural diversity. I have continued to promote disability justice and to engage in disability studies scholarship. In addition, Priscilla and I started an arts & crafts business called Beach Therapy Crafts & More (https://www.BeachTherapyCrafts.com) in connection with our favorite pastime of beachcombing.
One cannot go through all that I have experienced without either becoming bitter or better. I am trying to embrace the latter. I gave up a long time ago trying to make sense of why things happen. I do not know if everything happens for a reason, but I know you can take whatever does happen and choose to leverage that experience toward the goal of making your life meaningful and purposeful.
